You Can Drive My Car
by Mistystream Sootfur's Loyalty
Summary: Ever wonder why Zach never drives a car? lets just say it involves a family reunion, a flaming table, a nearly fatal accident to Grandpa Roy, and no designated drivers left... Hmm. Oneshot.


You Can Drive My Car

A Zach Addy Oneshot

**Hello everyone! I'm back with another Zach oneshot! For those of you who haven't read it, check out 'What To do when you Die', my other Zach oneshot that co-insides with this one. For those of you who once read 'Zach Attack', you may notice that I have deleted it. I may repost it sometime, but who knows? As usual, there are a few OC, but let me just explain them to you:**

**Mark Addy: Zach's brother, who's four years older then him. (he's 18 in this story)**

**Finn and Jake Addy: Zach's twin brothers, who are two years younger then him (12 in this story).**

**Mr. and Mrs. Addy: Zach's parents.**

**And some random family members (ex: Uncle Fred)**

**Rated for drinking and some slight language.**

(Ten Years Earilier then the Bones Pilot) (Zach's Hometown)

The Addy Family Reunion took place every summer in mid July at the lake. Out of all the holidays and celebrations the Addy family took part it, none was more outrageous and wild then the family reunion. But no one predicted what would happen that year. Uncle Fred set the table he was sitting at on fire when he dropped his cigar. Sweet, six year old Becky solved the problem by dumping Grandpa Roy's beer on the fire. Grandpa Roy, who had already had one to many, got angry that his beer was gone and tried to throw Becky in the lake. Becky parents threw Grandpa Roy in the lake in retaliation. Grandpa Roy was too drunk to swim, so Mark Addy, who worked as a lifeguard at the public pool, had to dive in and save him. Then when Grandpa Roy started breathing again, Mark drove him to the hospital in his car, while Becky and her parents were chased to ther car by Grandma Phyllis and her son Scott.

Those were the most exciting parts of the evening, to say the least.

Until it came time for Mr. and Mrs. Addy to drive themselves and their remaining sons home.

But both Zach's parents had had way too much to drink.

"I'm not letting ya drive us home and kill us." slurred Mrs. Addy, as her husband tried unsuccessfully to open the car door for the third time running.

"well who's gonna drive us then? Zachie and the twins have to get to bed!" Mr. Addy slurred back. Then, as if struck by sudden brilliance, he added, 'Zachie, how oldre ye now?"

"Dad, I turned fourteen six months ago." Zach replied nervously, opening the passenger door for his father and struggling to take the car keys from his grip. He and his twin brothers were probably the only ones left at the party who weren't wasted, and Zach really wanted to get home.

"How 'bout you drive us home?" mr. Addy said.

"Uhh.. Dad, I don't get my permit for another two years."

"Come on Zachie poe! You've been in a car enough times to know how ta drive one."

Zach didn't see a way out of this, but he still didn't think it was such a good idea. After helping his mother into the back seat, and making sure that Jake and Finn buckled up, Zach ran a hand through his hair and pushed himself into the drivers seat.

He could do this.

It was only a fifteen minute drive to the house. No sweat.

He bluckled himself in, adjusted the rearview mirror, crossed himself three times, and then stuck the key into the ignition. The engine roared to life. After carefully avoided running over Aunt Delilah, who was lying on the ground and apparently thought she was back home, he switched from reverse to drive and was then on the street.

No problem right?

Problem.

Not only was Zach fourteen, without a permit, and in the company of two drunk parents and two over excited twin brothers, but in happened to be three o'clock in the morning. _What_ he would say if the cops passed him he had no idea.

The cops.

They always patrolled the one road at these times of night. Every since there was a small fight last winter in the alley ways, the police department had been more and more determined to catch law-breakers. Half of his family would probably be in the reformery by morning. Zach mused about the entire Addy family in one cell, and Grandma Phyllis shouted at Becky's parents, while Scott tried to sleep off his hangover.

Zach spent so much time thinking about that they he hardly noticed that he was already half way home. He didn't even listen as Mr. Addy attempted to correct his driving ("reft Zachie reft!... or is it light?"... "Dont stop, the lights red.. or fred... " .. another frying pan, watch out for them will you son?")

And the cruiser pulled out of an alley and came to drive beside them.

Zach felt himself sweating purfusedly. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, checked that he was driving the speed limit, and tried to draw himself to his full height and try and look like he was old enough to be driving at this hour.

But fourteen year old's don't usual get mistaken for eightyear olds.

The officer took one look at him and immediadley signal for him to pull over. Zach obliged, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"we ere afreddy?" muttered Mr. Addy.

"no dad, the cops pulled me over!"

"What, the fuz! just follow my lead son!"

The officer came over to the driver's side and Zach rolled down the window, the sickened feeling in his stomach growing.

"What the hell do you think you're doing kid?- wait, is that you Ted?" the officer shined his light at MR. Addy, obiously recognizing him.

"Ahh!" Ted Addy replied, and then he smung at Zach with all his might. Zch fell back agaisnt the door handle and fell onto th ground at the officer's feet.

"What on earth is going on?" the officer demanded.

"uhhh.. I thought the kid was a thug who tried to steal my car?"

That was a dumb one, even for Mr. Addy.

The officer spoke into his walkie talkie. "I need a member of Child Services over here as soon as possible." the officer said. Zach gaped in terror. Child Services?

"Sir, have you been drinking?" the officer asked, flashing his light in Mr. Addy's eyes.

"Uhh.." Mr. Addy scratched his head. "I don't remember. Finn, have I been drinking? Finn? Finn!" the officer turned to the backseat, where Mrs. Addy, Jake, and Finn, were all leaning on eachothers shoulders, asleep.

_I hope my foster parents are nice. _ Zach thought, because what his father said was just as good as handing him over to Child Services.

"You, kid, can you explain what's going on?" the officer said, rounding on Zach the same moment as a van pulled up beside the cruiser. Zach felt his heartbeat quicken.

"Uhh. family reunion. My father had.. a bit too much to drink. My older brother had to take Grandpa to the hospit- I mean, home, and I didn't want my father to kill us all, so I convinced him to give me the keys." Zach said, trying his best to sound convincing.

His lie didn't sound much better then the truth though.

"How old are you kid?" the officer asked, while his partner went to speak with the representative from Child Services.

"I'll be fifteen in December." Zach said, thinking that anything sounded better then admitting to the officer that he was only fourteen.

The other officer and the Child Services representative came to join them.

"What's your name?" said the CSR.

"uh.. Zach." he replied, not liking the representative at all, especially the way she spoke in a soft, soothing tone.

"Zach, do your parents often mistreat you?" she said in the same tone.

"No! My dad was drunk-"

Wrong thing to say.

"Would you say your father gets drunk often?" 

"No! It was a family reunion tonight at the lake-'

on and on the questions went, until at last, they seemed to determin that Zach was not indanger from his parents and that he could go home.

"I'll drive the family car." the older officer said, then pointed at his partner. "You drive the kid home in the cruiser."

Zach nervously approached the cruiser. Would he be put in the back seat, to be driven home like a criminal? He had heard about these cars, how they only opened on the outside. It drove him crazy with fear at the thought of sitting in the back.

But the officer gestured for the passenger seat, and, graciously, Zach took it.

The whole ride home was silent, while Zach stared wordlessly infront of him. When they reached his house, he clambered out at once, and then went over to his own car, where the other officer was waiting for him. He prodded his family awake and coaxed them into the house (he had to carry Jake, hwo refused to roused despite Zach's many protests.)

And then he was asleep on his bed without another thought.

The next day, after Zach had reacounted the entire adventure to his father (who seemed unable to remember it for some reason), his father gave a hearty laugh and clapped Zach on the back. Mark, who had been listening (Grandpa Roy was going to make a full recovery: he and Aunt Phyllis were on a Red Eye flight to Hawaii as they spoke), grinned crazily.

"Hey Zach, think about it: Only a year and a half before you can get behind the wheel _again._"

And in that instant, Zach vowed to never, ever, drive a car again.

**Another one finished!!! Its about the same length as 'What to do when you Die'. I'll probably write another few... but please review!!! I'd love to know what you thought!!**

**Mistystream Sootfur's Loyalty**


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